AHEM yeah

So, in order to do a serious post some thing were required. Like that warning.

I have had the current deployment pretty easy so far. Relatively few details and very few indirect attacks. Alas it was not to be. The powers that be decided to go to a ridiculously high level to pull more than half of our section into a second tac team. This means that while radar is authorized 12 people we had only 9 and then they took 4 more. Well the people staying on radar now have even longer shifts that makes times like maintenance every two days near impossible within the allotted time. However for those of us who will be on tac 2, we will be rolling outside the wire and kicking in doors. Now this transfer may not seem bad because all army are first and foremost infantry. but it kinda sucks because I really don't wanna do this. Now don't get me wrong I am all for punishing those that deserve it. but I don't feel comfortable doing this. and I am kinda scared. Now, it has been tough for me the past few days trying to get adjusted to the idea and also sleeping in naps so I can change schedule from 21:00-09:00 to a normal day shift schedule. Julia has been on the phone almost constantly with me supporting me. I Love my wife dearly but apparently do not make this known because of all the trash talk I share with her. Trust we have our intimate moments but don't share those with the world. My wife has shown me the past few days that her level of devotion and support are saintly. Thank you Julia a long and happy marriage to us both.

Also Thanks to all the support from my friends. I don't often mention them but they are there for me often and I am very thankful.

I love you Julia, more than you know.
(Disclaimer: Reading sappy blog may cause barfing uncontrollably or awwwww to be heard in the presence of women.)

Deployment.

Okay the army has a suicide problem, and they don't know why. OK there is a little book called zebras don't have ulcers. It's about how constant micro-stressors have a different effect than normal stress. Anyways you always hear in the media about how horrible it is for soldiers because they are under fire and away for 3 months to a year at a time and they are missing their families. Yeah I am gone for a year and yeah we get indirect fire blah blah blah. You know what annoys me the most? MOON DUST. like dust from the moon, i don't know why it is called that but let me describe it. Y'know how sand gets EVERYWHERE at the beach? it's like that but tens times worse. dust gets into your nose and forms nasty boogers, that cant be snot rocketed out. Another thing you bring your weapon everywhere, don't leave it anywhere. going to the latrine don't leave it in your room. basically it is glued to your side, don't get caught without it or you're getting it. Also there is no alcohol. there is near-beer, or non alcoholic beer. That's great except non-alcoholic beer has a terrible aftertaste. Laundry is a problem because it is so hot you sweat so much and you cant shower daily because of water issues. my clothes could stand up by themselves from salt from my sweat. it is bad, but you know I don't mind it I knew it was coming but you don't know these thing till you get here. weekends off? ha!

Go tell a soldier not to worry about getting shot but to worry about sand.
(Disclaimer: Don't.)

The beauty is undeniable.

Well I had my 11 month anniversary on the 4th and my 6 month anniversary on the 2nd, because I got married twice, to the same person. Also, if you were unaware the 4th of July is a holiday, celebrated by attempting to blow fingers off and getting so completely blitzed you can't even start a push button grill. Well it's actually Independence day. the date the Declaration of Independence was signed. But I think that is bullshit. If i declare myself a woman I am not a woman until my surgeries finish. So shouldn't Independence Day be the date the war was over? September 3rd, the date the treaty of Versailles was signed. So from this point forth I'll celebrate Independence Day then thank you very much.


Celebrate Independence day on Sept 3 by blowing shit up.
(Disclaimer: Don't actually, it's illegal)

ahhh, I love the army.

Yesterday we were informed that we would be starting shifts today 2 people with rotating NCOs during the day 3 people who have never deployed before during the night. wait so, people who are higher ranking and have deployed before and have more experience during the day, with supervision and assistance should they need it, together; and people who have never deployed before during the more active time (for my job anyways) without help supervision or experience. WOW good planning on that part. Anyways preparing for night shift I stayed up all night and went to bed around 3. Sleeping in I am awoken by a knock at the door. It's my section chief telling me I might not be starting shift tonight anyways, and wondering why I am sleeping. Now nothing against my NCOs, but this is exactly why I hate the whole bureaucracy thing, if we were all informed on an even level this wouldn't have happened. It's like a constant game of telephone (Courtesy of Lady Gaga) except we get to play with guns. So misinformation + diplomatic immunity + immense amounts of killing power = not a smart combo. Anyway I am shocked that this section is so well organized seeing how we are forced to act. Well I guess I should apologize seeing as my NCOs can read this. I know it isn't their fault but I tend to blame them considering I am not allowed to talk to anyone else above them.

Go destroy all records of Lady Gaga's music before it takes over the world
(Disclaimer: Don't actually. Just try to get Telephone out of your head by listening to Bad Romance [gotcha twice there haha!])

Wow all the way from Asia

Well I was going to delete my previous posts and start anew, but I like being bitter so they will stay and fill up my blargh.
I joined the army for those that don't know and have therefore been busy with a real job, allowing me not to stay at all up to date with a blog. Since my last post I have gone through Basic Combat Training and Advanced Individual Training for Field Artillery. Then I moved to Germany and 6 months later got married to my beautiful wife on January 2, 2010 (01022010). Six months after that I was deployed to Afghanistan. I have been gone from home for two weeks now and miss my newlywed wife dearly, but I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve so I am far from complaining. Here I sit in my little air-conditioned shipping container with outgoing shells booming shaking my "house" smiling as I realize how little and much I have changed. Two years ago when I last posted I had hoped in several short weeks to be in the police academy training to be a police officer. those plans fell through the floor due to "vandalism and theft" never had I been caught or charged with anything but when you are brutally honest with an interviewer things like that come up (thanks Morgan.) Anyways after that I joined the army with a 3 year contract thinking that maybe with a bit more work ethic under my belt and a slightly more realistic view of the world I'd get hired. Not to mention the main reason of joining was my beautiful wife Julia, who without the army probably wouldn't even have an engagement ring yet. I thought to myself as I joined that in order to secure our future the army was worth it.

Well here I am two weeks later realizing more now than ever that the army is a good way to start off life. My wife and I have a house a car and tax free income for a year, which I sure will help to acquire our own house sooner rather than later. The army functions stupidly, taking bureaucracy to its logical extreme. Those that took logic know extremes don't work. However the army is still functioning somewhat and I am thankful for that much. But that fact that I am not allowed to talk to a person two ranks above me and must go through someone else who is only one rank above is frustrating when I know the exact person with whom to talk to get something done, yet can't talk to that person directly. It makes for alot of problems. Anyways this distorted pointless rant has illustrated quite clearly my lack of attention span so I will take my leave now.

Next time you need something done go straight to the CEO of your company.
(Disclaimer: If you get fired for it, it's not my fault if you get promoted it was totally my idea)

New Rant

Wow, anyways I didn't die. I just made this blog for my girlfriend and she actually hates me so i haven't posted in while.

I was just looking at a blog of someone I know and they were ranting about a lifestyle that they disapprove of. SHOCK. everyone hates something, and what i hate is everything. There are those people that only hate "hate". That's bull, if you don't hate someone after they break your knees with a baseball bat, you're not human. Anyways back to the topic, this person was going on about a moral way of life and how people should always follow their own path. well, the way this was worded was that she was completely forgivable but anyone who disagreed with her life was in the wrong. VICTORY BY DEFINITION. Seems to me that we are reliving the tower of babel. Everyone interprets things their own way and say they are right. Logic no longer plays a role.

I have personally concluded that since everyone can interpret anything how they see fit I am gonna start too. My first new decision is that Santa is a pedophile. b/c he give things to boys and girls.

(Disclaimer: I don't mean it Santa Claus, still bring me presents.)

Loudmouth Smartass

I am trying to get a lot of posts in here asap so my history doesn't look so pathetic. Anyways onto to a pointless scorn filled rant.

That Guy the one that knows about everything, and he is loud AND annoying (seems those trait often go hand in hand). Anyways me and some friends are out at a campfire and a recently divorced, desperate woman's boyfriend walks up and exclaims like he is reading out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, "Ahhh the gentle smell of burning oak in the evening." The woman's brother blurts out, "That's pine you idiot" so in attempting to prove to us that he was an experienced woodsman who hadn't spent his whole life in the city he did the opposite.

We all know an idiot who constantly tries too hard to make himself look smart, and we all hate this person, now why do they keep it up? Maybe they are sad, depressed self loathers who need other people thinking that they are smart in order to live. I think someone pays them to be annoying as hell. Here is my plan: If you don't know about a topic, shut the hell up.

Anyways google is bad because they like to bomb innocent cities to make room for their servers.
(Disclaimer: If google actually bombed a city of these idiots no one would complain)