Loudmouth Smartass

I am trying to get a lot of posts in here asap so my history doesn't look so pathetic. Anyways onto to a pointless scorn filled rant.

That Guy the one that knows about everything, and he is loud AND annoying (seems those trait often go hand in hand). Anyways me and some friends are out at a campfire and a recently divorced, desperate woman's boyfriend walks up and exclaims like he is reading out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, "Ahhh the gentle smell of burning oak in the evening." The woman's brother blurts out, "That's pine you idiot" so in attempting to prove to us that he was an experienced woodsman who hadn't spent his whole life in the city he did the opposite.

We all know an idiot who constantly tries too hard to make himself look smart, and we all hate this person, now why do they keep it up? Maybe they are sad, depressed self loathers who need other people thinking that they are smart in order to live. I think someone pays them to be annoying as hell. Here is my plan: If you don't know about a topic, shut the hell up.

Anyways google is bad because they like to bomb innocent cities to make room for their servers.
(Disclaimer: If google actually bombed a city of these idiots no one would complain)

Great Listeners

You know that one person who always talks to you but never listens? The one who talks to you for a half an hour over coffee about your vacation then asks where you were when you get back
"Hey, I didn't see you at the office where were you?"
"I went on vacation."
"Oh where'd you go?"
"Hawaii, yeah we talked about this last week"

Here is my new proposal: headbutt them. If growing up they never listened that means they never learned and if they never learned they are stupid and a burden on our society. On the off chance that your headbutt causes brain damage and they suddenly learn to listen, good job.

People who never listen are like tiny nasty warts that slowly spread. They irk the hell out of everyone and never go away. If you surround this person with other people long enough everyone starts not listening just like the first guy. So this single person who views are always forced on others is a loud mouthed I am always right fashion spreads. The longer we sit there taking the more likely we are to become non-listeners.

The next time you tell someone something 5 times and they don't recall it, headbutt them.
(Disclaimer: I don't condone any violence, but if you do headbutt the person, good job.)

Ahhh the intro

The intro to any blog, feared by the blogger, hated by the reader. In this intro I expect to make no impressions. anyways here's my story. . .

Driving to school today I noticed something, there are no courteous drivers on the road. That's right we are all "that jerk." See, everyone has different views of what makes a good driver, that's why we are are better than average drivers. One young man may think that having control while driving 84 mph in a 65 zone is good driving, while someone else entirely thinks that obeying every law to the letter is good driving. I am saying Nascar driver sucks at driving as much as Grandma with her blinker on for 6 miles at half the speed limit before turning the opposite direction into bar parking lot.

No matter what speedster is gonna think grandma sucks at driving and grandma is gonna think mr. probably-stole-that-car-because-no-college-student-can-afford-a-car-that-goes-that-fast is in a metal deathtrap. Until everyone agrees what good driving actually is someone somewhere hates your specific type driving, and through that hates you(not that we deserve better), and your crappy bumper sticker stating your middle school student is a Smart cookie, and now your sons middle school has another emeny. (Tangent sorry)

I am a safe driver. I never go the speed limit, I stop the absolute minimum at stop signs, and I floor it when the light turns green. If I went the speed limit the person behind me hates me, if I stop for a full 5 seconds I get rear-ended, and hell forbid it takes longer than 2 seconds for me to hit the speed limit after the light switches. I am comfortable driving and what makes me a good driver is i never take offnse. People are idiots behind the wheel, but until i see someone get cruxified for not knowing the meaning of "elaborate" stupidity is not a crime.

Anyways time for less sarcasm and a paper.
(Dislaimer: anyone punished for a stupidity crime has no pity from me.)